“Toxic Masculinity” Doesn’t Actually Exist

Masculinity isn’t toxic. It’s misunderstood.

Ariana E.


Photo by Khaled Reese from Pexels

Masculinity is under attack.

These days, the “patriarchy,” the #metoo movement, the alleged wage gap, and male privilege have men and women at constant war with one other.

These conflicts are often summarized into “toxic masculinity” — a phrase coined to encompass all of the inequities and injustices that men as a whole have inflicted on society.

Men, of course, aren’t thrilled about this. No entire group wants to be blamed and held responsible for the misdeeds of a few. And masculine men aren’t buying into this narrative.

Still, the debate around “toxic masculinity” doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Women are angry and frustrated (often rightfully so) about the injustices we have faced. From traditionally being seen as inferior, reduced to our sexual value, or being judged solely on our outward appearances, we have faced injustices in society, too.

But is the solution to one injustice to artificially create another?

We should stop using the phrase “toxic masculinity.”

For one, this phrase is decidedly vague.

What does it even mean?

We know what toxic means — poisonous, lethal, unhealthy.

But do we know what it means to truly be masculine?

Second, “toxic masculinity” is an oxymoron.

Why? Because so-called “toxic” behaviors aren’t actually masculine. Not in truth, anyway.

Masculinity is what traditionally provides leadership, direction, and order in society. Masculinity is meant to coexist with femininity, as two forces that counterbalance each other. When the two come together, they create perfect harmony.

However, the “toxic” part of the equation suggests that masculinity can be domineering, demanding, and ultimately destructive — but is that what masculinity truly is?

The conflict truly lies in modern…



Ariana E.

I said what I said. Counter-cultural opinions on sex, love, and dating.