Shacking Up With Your Boyfriend Is Adult “Friends With Benefits”

“No strings attached” is a lie.

Ariana E.
4 min readJan 23, 2022


Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Often enough, “friends-with-benefits” (FWB) is far from the ideal romantic scenario.

Usually, it’s the result of one or both parties wanting some aspects of a relationship — without the responsibility of an actual commitment.

You act like you’re boyfriend-girlfriend physically (maybe even emotionally to some extent) but if one of you moves on to someone else, there is no accountability because it’s not technically a “relationship.”

You are always free to walk out. No strings attached.

Except, of course, there are strings attached.

Regardless of any initial pact to not get “attached” to one another, intimate relationships naturally result in some level of attachment.

Like it or not, there are going to be strings.

And probably lots of them.

This is why FWB arrangements usually result in nothing more than confusion, disappointment, and unmet expectations for one (or both) parties involved.

Why do we give ourselves a free pass when it comes to “playing house”?

These days, moving in together is seen as a natural step within a romantic relationship.

You want to see how compatible your lives really are, and if the person you’re dating is someone you could tolerate living with for the foreseeable future.

Sometimes, moving in together is a “test run” before marriage — to see if this person is really the one.

So you move in. You test it out.

“Shacking up” is pretending to be married without actually making the commitment.

You’re living like a family but haven’t taken the necessary steps to actually be a family — legally, spiritually, or emotionally.

It’s the same ‘one-foot-in, one-foot-out mentality.

You don’t want labels because you don’t want the responsibility.



Ariana E.

I said what I said. Counter-cultural opinions on sex, love, and dating.