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I Don’t Date White Guys

Let’s talk about racism, compatibility, and lived experiences while dating.

Ariana E.
4 min readJul 8, 2022
Photo by Alex Blokstra

The other night, a friend of mine shared that she doesn’t date white guys.

“They just don’t understand my experiences as a black woman,” she said, “and I don’t feel like explaining everything to them or having to justify my existence.”

I’ve heard similar commentary from my (typically left-leaning) Latina friends, too.

But imagine if the roles were reversed — imagine a white guy declaring that he “doesn't date Black or Latina women.”

It doesn’t even matter the reason at that point.

All hell would break loose.

Do we select our romantic partners based on how well they understand our experiences?

My friend seemed to assume that if a person was white and male, they would not understand what it’s like to be Black and female. And this lack of understanding would jeopardize the possibility of a relationship.

I wonder — would any man understand what it was like to be a woman?

And is that level of understanding a requirement for a healthy, flourishing relationship?

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Ariana E.
Ariana E.

Written by Ariana E.

I said what I said. Counter-cultural opinions on sex, love, and dating.

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