Hi Mary, I really loved this piece. It resonated a lot with me, so thank you for sharing your story. I think love can be a bit complicated. When I was in high school, all I wanted was to find a boyfriend and fall in love. I was always daydreaming about having a first kiss, a first date, etc. and I had crushes on several people. But I never had any of that for real at that age. I had crushes, sure, and even told one boy that I loved him, but looking back, it fell short of deep, authentic, mature love.

I didn't get into my first real relationship until I was 22 and just about to graduate college. (I swear, if I told 14-year-old-me that she would have to wait until age 22 to have her first kiss, I would have died.) I'm honestly so grateful that it happened that way. At the age I am now (mid-20s), I am much better able to discern what I want and need in a life partner, and therefore have been able to choose someone that I truly see a future with.

I heard a quote once that goes, "you can only love someone as much as you know them." In our teenage years, and even into early adulthood we don't know ourselves. We're just beginning to figure out who we are. How can we possibly expect someone to love us for who we are...when we don't even know who we are yet? I think this is why so many young relationships end.

My boyfriend had the opposite experience to the one I did. He did fall in love in high school, had a two year relationship, and experienced all of his firsts with his high school girlfriend. Their relationship ended when he went off to college and realized that although they cared for each other, there were too many incompatibilities to continue the relationship. He realized at 18 that he just couldn't see himself spending the rest of his life with her. They broke up, and never spoke after that. He's told me in conversation that he only wishes her the best and wouldn't mind being friends with her again one day, but he's also heard from mutual friends that she was really scarred by the relationship and was bitter about it for a long time after.

Love affects us all differently. I find that there tends to be one person who invests more, who cares more. And when relationships end, heartbreak is never even. I feel for the girlfriend of the boy in Panera Bread. I feel for any woman who's ever experienced heartbreak. It's one of the most painful and raw emotions that we'll ever have. My only hope is that everyone gets to experience true, authentic, mature, love. At least once in their life.

Sorry, that was a whole rant! Your piece really got me thinking. I'm excited to follow and check out more of your work!