Member-only story
For most of my life, I’ve thought of myself as a nice person. People rarely get mad at me, I avoid conflict like the plague, and I’m three times more likely to roll over and people-please than I am to pick a fight with anyone.
But being in a relationship made me realize just how much of a jerk I can be. Before having a boyfriend, I thought I was doing well. I had no idea that I had so many insecurities and imperfections.
We were sitting in his car the other afternoon when I looked at him and said, “I’m going to mess up a lot, you know. I’m going to rip the pages out of all your favorite books, and have irrational emotional outbursts, and drive you up the wall with all my fears and worries.”
He looked right back at me and smiled. “Good.”
“Why is that good?” I asked.
“‘Cause I’m not perfect either. I’m going to mess up a lot, too.”
Being in a healthy relationship makes you realize how flawed you are.
You don’t want a partner to tell you that you’re perfect all the time. You don’t want someone who constantly bends over backward to meet your needs, and asks nothing of you in return.
